Flamingos found in Durham

Last week, an infestation of left armed pickpockets in Durham lead to the discovery of 47 blue Flamingos in the plains of Durham.  They had taken up residency in an abandoned fish smoking plant, where for the last 16 years they have been disguised as a herd of underwater bowlers.


One Flamingo, who did not want to be recognised in fear of being named, had his beak twisted into the shape of a onion and had one foot replaced with the tongue of a rare breed of badger and the other with the knuckles of a red nosed woman called Brenda from Barking.


Unfortunately, the recorded evidence of this event has been lost due to the left armed pickpockets fleeing the scene before we could discover if in fact their hands were indeed red.